Captain Marvel (Carol Danvers)
Marvel
- An OG Marvel feminist hero, but still had to spend years wearing high heeled thigh highs and black leather
- Energy blasted her way through the glass ceiling literally into space and still probably paid less than male Avengers and Ultimates
- Still called Ms. Marvel by anyone over the age of 45 including some teammates
- Is maybe becoming the face of Shitty White Feminism in Civil War II
Spectrum (Monica Rambeau)
Marvel
- Led the Avengers as Captain Marvel, was known by the title for most of her professional career, eventually had to concede her title to guy whose real name rhymed with ‘penis,’ so she took the hero name of Photon
- Guy whose real name rhymed with ‘penis’ later changed his title to Photon
- Captain Marvel title now used by mainstream popular white woman
- Bruce Banner once asked to touch her natural hair
Agent 13 (Sharon Carter)
Marvel
- Has been in SHIELD since 1966, has been director multiple times, one of the most top-rated agents, still usually just referred to as ‘Peggy Carter’s niece or granddaughter or something’
- Is going to punch Maria Hill in the face if Hill goes off about ‘not being like other women’ one more time
- In the 70s, put a temporary paralytic in the coffee and the male agents stopped telling her to put on a fresh pot
Angela
Marvel
- Lives in Chelsea with her musician girlfriend, their adopted daughter, and a cute dog, is as gay as possible, people won’t stop bringing up her one night stand with a dude 20 years ago
- Wants a goddamn manageable hair style, is told any hair change will “hurt her brand”
- Constantly dodging invites to visit conservative family, invites are sometimes delivered by Heimdall
Mockingbird (Bobbi Morse)
Marvel
- SHIELD insurance may be great, but it still insists on 11 different tests before letting her get a Mirena instead of the pill
- Spends too much time at work forwarding MRA tweets to their mothers
- Is romantically involved with Hunter and Clint in a well communicated and consenting situation but Tony Stark makes whip cracking sounds every time she walks by with either of them
Elektra
Marvel
- Gets 3am post-crime busting booty call texts from Daredevil
- Takes spa weekends with Black Widow to ‘relax, disconnect and get away from it all,’ they both answer work calls constantly all weekend
- Has been told to “go back to the Middle East” but is actually Greek
- Super villains make elaborate attempts to take creepshots while hiring her to kill people